Criss Angel: In Clearwater, Fl Today

Criss Angel is here, in Clearwater, Florida to perform one of his escape acts, which I hear is "life-threatening". I don't know about that, riding my bicycle through Coachman Park or anywhere in downtown is probably more dangerous than Criss Angel's stunt. If one of our muggers don't get you, one of our elderly drivers surely will. Dark clouds have hovered over Clearwater Beach all day, drenching the pristine sands and dilapidated downtown streets with a steady torrent of cold misty rain. I've been debating with myself whether or not I want to ride my bike across the bridge and to the beach to watch Criss Angel implode with the building.

In case most people aren't familiar with Clearwater, Florida, we are located forty minutes West of Tampa. Several decades ago, some guy named L. Ron Hubbard decided to make Clearwater, Florida the headquarters of his nascent religion. That's right we are the World Spiritual Headquarters for the Church of Scientology, and rumor has it that Zeno's actual spaceship is buried inside one of our many sinkholes. According to some estimates 25,000 out of Clearwater's 108,000 residents are Scientologists. If you walk around downtown Clearwater you get to see thousands of blue shirt wearing cultists walking around in whatever errand little cultists run for their sector commanders.

So it's not surprising that this is the only City stupid enough to grant Criss Angel the privilege of pretending he's inside an exploding building. Still, I'll probably be there tonight, one of an estimated 10,000 voyeurs wondering if the budding emo magician will be crushed to a pulp.